Hello everyone. Welcome to my website. Let’s talk about how to empower young minds and teach kids to tackle bullying. Bullying is any harmful/ offensive act by a person/ group of people done repeatedly towards someone. It is toxic and needs to be addressed. It can be physical or verbal and can have severe impacts on mental health.
Bullying is an act of cowardice by people who want to prove themselves superior. Do you agree with this statement??
According to UNICEF, bullying has three characteristics – intent, repetition and power.
A bully has an intent to cause physical or mental pain through his/ her actions and they are likely to keep repeating their hurtful actions. These bullies feel they have power over others. It can be due to their age, size or social status.
Teaching kids to tackle bullying includes preventing them from being bullied as well as preventing them from turning into a bully.
Types of bullying
Previously bullying was only done directly in person. But, nowadays online bullying known as cyberbullying is also becoming common. Let’s check out the different types of bullying.
- Physical bullying : It involves physical harm such as hitting, kicking, pushing or touching in inappropriate ways. As parents, we need to check out for any unexplained cuts, bruises or pain. Apart from these, there may be stained or torn clothes that can indicate physical bullying. In some cases, it might take the form of sexual harassment.
- Verbal bullying : It involves speaking hurtful words such as abusing, homophobic remarks, racial remarks, name calling or threatening. Remarks can be made in regard to physical appearance, ethnicity, religion or disability.
- Social bullying : It involves bullying someone in their absence or behind their back. It can include spreading rumours, giving bad expressions, damaging reputation, encouraging others to exclude someone or playing bad jokes.
- Cyberbullying : It refers to bullying in cyberspace or online bullying. It includes sending hurtful texts, images, videos or social media posts. Spreading online rumours or impersonating others on social media can also be cyberbullying.
How to recognise bullying
It is important to teach kids to inform teachers or trusted adults if they face bullying. Talk to them regarding what constitutes bullying and how to manage it. As a parent, have a lookout for any of these signs.
- Any visible injuries or bruises
- Changes in mood
- Feeling anxious or scared
- Insomnia or difficulty in sleeping
- Not eating properly
- Scared of going to school
- Avoiding certain situations or people
Why do people bully?
Bullying is becoming common in schools nowadays. There can be several reasons for bullying. Some kids get insecure and pick out kids who seem physically or emotionally vulnerable. This gives them a sense of control, power or pride. Sometimes kids are simply not aware that they might be hurting others by calling them names or by other offensive acts. While, some kids are copying the behaviour they see at home or around them.
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So, it is essential that we teach our kids to be kind to others. We have to be good role models as a parent as well as part of society.
Ways to deal with bullying
As a parent or teacher, it is our responsibility to teach our kids to treat everyone with respect. We must ensure that our kids don’t bully others and not get bullied. Let’s check out a few ways in which we can empower our kids.
- Educate about bullying : It is important to teach kids about bullying so that they understand the need to take action to stop it. Make them aware of all the dangers, especially cyberbullying if they are given access to the internet. They should know that bullying is an act of constant abuse.
- Inform an adult : Teach your kids to inform their teachers or any school staff in case they get bullied in school. They can also share it with close friends and parents. If they don’t get any help from teachers, then parents can explain the situation to staff and things might change.
- Stay close with friends : Try to stay close with friends as bullies might get deterred. It might not always help, but no harm in trying.
- Develop empathy : Developing empathy is an essential part in fighting bullying. Engage kids in activities such as role playing or discussing hypothetical situations. They should be made aware how it feels to be bullied. Kids should be taught to respect everyone and treat people with kindness.
- Bystander intervention : Teach your child to act if they witness any bullying incident. They should immediately report the incident to staff members and support the victim of bullying. This will be a big help and the bully will think twice before repeating his/ her acts again.
- Act brave : Bullies feed on fear. So, teach your child to put on a brave face and tell things like “You are doing wrong. STOP or I will inform the teachers.” OR “It’s not okay to call me like that. You should call me by my name.” OR “Don’t touch me.”
The important thing to remember is your child should speak in a calm, stern voice, not in a shaken voice and look straight into the bully’s eyes. If they show fear, the bully will gain confidence.
- Try ignoring : Your kid can try the ignoring strategy too. In this, they should just ignore the bully as if they don’t exist or they don’t care. They can also try to just laugh off the bully’s threat. This might make the bully feel powerless or bored and they might not repeat such acts in future.
- Building confidence : Kids who face bullying feel they are in the wrong. Their confidence level goes down. So, it is essential to rebuild their confidence. Encourage them to join classes or activities they enjoy. Let them spend time with trusted friends. Talk with your child about their positive traits and encourage their good behaviour.
- Avoidance strategy : Most of the time, bullies act when adults are not around. Ask your kid when and where he/she was bullied. If they were alone, then ask your child to try to be near adults or friends as much as possible. Ask them to avoid being alone during lunch time, play time or in hallways.
- Be careful with gadgets : If your child is big enough to have gadgets, you need to ensure some safety measures are taken to prevent them from cyberbullying. Some safety measures that can be adopted are –
- Discuss about the privacy settings of the gadget with your kid.
- Teach them to never share their passwords or any sensitive/personal information with others.
- Not sharing/forwarding any hurtful/abusive messages or files.
- Never hurt or spread rumours about others.
- Consult a trusted adult if something makes them uncomfortable.
- Stay safe from strangers online.
- Keep proof of bullying by capturing screenshots or recording videos.
- Block anyone who sends offensive messages or videos.
- Report any bullying incidents to trusted adults or school staff.
Bullying mostly starts in school and sometimes they might seem like normal, childish behaviour. But, if proper correction measures are not taken at this time, then it might become vicious in the future. These kids will gain confidence and grow up to bully their classmates in college or colleagues in the workplace. Anti-social behaviour might later turn them into rapists or murderers. So, it is crucial to teach our kids to treat everyone with respect and empower them to tackle bullies.
My child has faced bullying twice in her life. Her first bullying incident happened in the kids park in our society. The older kids were not letting her go to the slides and she got scared. I went and stood next to her and the kids then moved away. Presence of an adult changed the circumstances drastically. This incident inspired me to write a story on bullying in my book. You can check out my book Story time with proverbs for the story ‘As you sow, so shall you reap.’
Second incident happened at my daughter’s school. My daughter had a friend who was a bit dominating. Let’s call the friend AA for now. They used to play together during lunch time. After a few days, my daughter said that AA had stopped playing with her and made new friends. I advised my daughter to make new friends too. Few months passed and suddenly one day my daughter mentioned that AA was calling her names from the past few days. Today, another girl joined AA in this bullying behaviour. My daughter was sobbing and this broke my heart. I asked my daughter to put on a brave face and ask the girls to stop this behaviour, if they do it again. Next day, I went and spoke with the school staff and they assured me they would sort out the matter. The teachers made the girls apologise and make a ‘Sorry’ card for my daughter. The girls have learned their lesson hopefully as they have never bullied my daughter again.
Both the situations took a positive turn when adults got involved.
These experiences have made me eager to spread awareness about bullying. Empower your kids to stay safe from bullying and to treat everyone with kindness.
Do share your views on this blog as well as any tips or experiences regarding bullying.
Check out my blog What milestones to expect in the first year?
Did you know October is the National Bullying Prevention Month.
You can check out other helpful related articles here.
Check out my second book ‘Story time with proverbs part-2’ available globally on Amazon in paperback as well as Kindle version.
